Sunday, 5 October 2008

The Worst Day Yet

The abuse has reached an all time high at home and I am at my breaking point. I feel so incredibly sick right now... so sick. I am at the point of losing my mind and I'm amazed that I haven't already. I don't even want to wait until the end of the month for the asshole to leave... I want him out now. I don't know what to do anymore... he seriously wants to ruin my life. I am truely afraid of him.

We have been over for a long while now... basically separated but stuck as roomates. I met someone who has been a true friend, a true special person through this all and Rachid is threatening to try to turn my friends against me. He's some how stolen ID's from my messenger... which by the way I have no idea how, and is planning on telling a bunch of lies to make me look like a horrible person. I give up... I have no energy left. I am sooooo upset... so scared... so stressed... so fucked up in the brain right now.

I am starting a new job in a week... and I have no idea how I will be able to focus and relax to do it. He wants to fuck up my life so I fail... he wants me to lose this job... he wants me to lose my friends... wants me to stay fat... wants me to be lonely... wants my family to hate me... wants me to be miserable in my life. I want my life back... I want to be happy... I want to be free. I don't want to be afraid any longer.

4 comments :

  1. I went through something similar. I lived with a guy that I had been dating and we eventually broke up, but he was still on the lease, so he could not easily leave. He also would write horrible lies about me on aim and he messaged all of my friends saying horrible things pretending to be me. He would play his music so loud that I could not sleep and he even sent me a dead rat for valentine's day. I didn't know what to do; I couldn't sleep and I was miserable. Eventually I went to the police with pictures of the dead rat and gave a statement detailing his harassment. The next day two detectives came by our place and pretty much told him that if he did anything else there would be dire consequences. I'm not sure if this helps, but I hope so. I remember feeling like everyone saw what he was doing yet no one cared enough to stand up for me. In the end I regained control of the situation and my problems were taken care of. I hope your situation gets better soon. Take care.

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  2. Could you and Mr Jingles stay with your Mom until he has left the apartment?

    You need and have every right to feel safe.

    Take care.

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  3. I wouldn't tell him where your new job is [and if you have already, maybe privately discuss with your employer that you have a crazed ex-boyfriend who may do anything to intimidate or harm you].

    Could you change the locks? Stay at someone elses house? Change all of your passwords, hide your things from him.

    Try to avoid him & the situation. I hope youre alright & safe.

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  4. DON'T leave your home, you DON'T have to be a victim, you DON'T have to put up with this. I lived with a man who physically abused me for many years before I had the courage to start divorce proceedings and then go to court and get him excluded from the marital home. I don't know how helpful Canadian law is to you, but use every power you have. My ex made me believe it was my fault, that it happened because 'I annoyed him'. It wasn't true for me and is not for you either. He does not have the right to wreak his uncontrolled anger on you. Find out what your legal rights are - is there a women's refuge in your area - they can help with advice and support. My heart goes out to you. After our divorce I had 5 years on my own then I re-married. Sadly it has ended in separation due to my depression, but I am getting through that too and I know that I can be successful and happy again. So can you.

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