Saturday, 18 September 2010

What's Wrong With Me?

Why am I waking up so early on a weekend?! The fur-baby didn't meow me awake. I just woke up with the worst headache, and such a dry mouth. I was bad last night... I had pizza. I feel so disgusted and disappointed in myself. I haven't had any junk food for quite some time, but I couldn't resist it. I sure felt my mistake this morning... I feel so dehydrated from the sodium. I haven't been eating anything high in sodium, and I haven't been using salt.

After my night of binging on a small vegetarian pizza, I feel ill. It really is true when they say "You are what you eat"... because right now I feel like shit. Good thing it was only a small... because it's completely gone. I have a major eating disorder and it's controlling my life. Food is all I think about... it's my drug of choice... it's my enemy. I hate myself today... no more pizza... it's time to block them from my computer.


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3 comments :

  1. I know that-.- It's horrible...I ate a huge-ish pizza a couple of days ago. Every time I do something like that I'm so disgusted and disappointed in myself...and mostly I take laxatives to get this stuff out of me as quickly as possible because I can't purge =(
    But the most horrible thing is that when I start...I can't stop. I just shove everything into my mouth that's in reach. baaaahhh.

    But you what? We gotta keep our heads up...setbacks can happen. You just gotta keep going =)

    xoxo

    P.s. I love the picture of the girl...I wish I was as skinny as she is.

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  2. Oh my dear I hope you feel better! Know that its ok to step off the path once in awhile ... the challenge is to be able to do it in moderation. Next time you feel like pizza (eat only one slice) ~ I know it sounds wateful but discard the rest immediately - or give to a neighbour. If you can get just a by the slice (ask them to cut it in half and only take the other piece with you) ~ In Toronto there aften homeless persons around the pizza places ~ you can give the other to one of them ..

    You will feel good 1) your craving was satisfied 2) you gave to someone who would not have eaten 3) you will be proud that you did 1 and 2 = feeling better.

    Hang in there .. you will get through this!! HHL

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  3. Aww...hope you feel better soon. Drink lots of water. I always feel crappy after eating at our favorite mexican place...can't resist the chips! I have a major salt addiction!

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