Monday, 29 August 2011

I'm in hell

Hey everyone! I'm not feeling that great today, and trying to keep myself busy. Last night was a terrible night for me, the anxiety was uncontrollable. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack, my stomach bothered me, had a terrible headache, and I actually had color changes. The withdrawal from coming off of Cymbalta is incredible, and I'm almost losing my mind. Never in a million years did I think it would be this hard to come off this drug, but I'm literally in hell right now. I've only cut my dose from 60mg to 30mg so far, and next week that gets cut to 15mg. I'm terrified to find out what the next two weeks are going to be like. I'm just ill thinking about it.


Anyone else come off of Cymbalta before? I had a hard time when I was coming off Effexor and going on Cymbalta, but it wasn't like this... this is a million times worse, and it's just started. I don't see my psychiatrist until September 7th, so that's still quite a ways to go. By then I will be loony... God knows what condition I will be in then. I guess she'll see me at my best! Ha, funny! I'm trying to add some humor to the situation, but really I'm miserable.

I just got a phone call a little while back regarding group therapy. I was in it before, but going back since I'm still nuts! I'm trying to keep positive, but I find it very hard to. I meet to find out when that starts on the 12th, so I'm somewhat looking forward to that. I have a love and hate relationship with group therapy. This will be my third time going for it, and hopefully it will be the last. Don't get me wrong, group therapy is quite good at times. I just hope the people in my group I can relate a bit to.

I'm also stressing when it comes to money still. I have to submit information to disability for my work, yet my psychiatrist doesn't seem to be all that understanding. I feel like I'm talking to a wall when I talk to her. I'm sure she's nice, but she has no emotion whatsoever when I tell her stuff. She looks at me like she's trying to read me, I guess maybe she is. I say something... and she doesn't have any emotion or comment. She frustrates the hell out of me... I wish I still have my old psychiatrist. I like someone who can be a little friendly and personable, especially when you're dealing with people who suffer from anxiety/depression, etc.

Maybe I'm reading too much into things... maybe I am just seeing something that isn't there. Maybe it's the withdrawal that's making me think this way. I guess I have to give it a little more time. All I know is that I need the damn disability papers to be sent... and I wish she was more understanding and helpful regarding it.

I guess that's enough of my complaining for the day! I will fill you all in later on how I'm feeling.

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